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What might you find at a tiny bed and breakfast?

Archive - Originally posted on "The Horse's Mouth" - 2013-06-03 21:54:14 - Graham Ellis

• Landlady's son doing chemistry Homework on the breakfast table

• The tinkling of piano keys as scales are practised, and trumpet practise

• Hot water that turn cold halfway through filling a bath

• The lace curtain that pops off its rail in the middle of the night

• Deciding what you want for breakfast the night before

• Having your toiletries all lined up and tidied during the day - hairbrush into pot etc rather than being left neatly on top of wash bag.

• Hearing activity in the room next to yours as if it's your room

• Last week's Daily Mail at breakfast

• 3 switches, all of which have to be "on", to get a bedside light

• A host who walks in to your bedroom at 8 a.m. without so much as a knock on the door

• Bath under a sloping roof - certainly can't stand upright in it

• Dressing table that's just big enough for a MacBook Air and an Ikea light

• Finches singing in their cage in the breakfast room all through breakfast

All charmingly quaint when staying with friends or at home, but on a business trip in a B&B, just a little bit too much like home. Had it really been like home - "come and join us in front of the BIG TV / we love having people in" - had any interest been shown, I think I would be more accepting of the above. As it is, I feel that I'm treading on eggshells in these people's nice home, and that I'm really here for that oldest of reasons for taking in a lodger - to give them a few more pennies. An information pack, offering an evening meal at £18.00 (or a jacket potato at £9.50) rather confirms that economic reality.